As someone who's dived so deeply into social media that I made pie charts exploring my Facebook usage, I asked myself, what would it be like to disconnect? Not only from Facebook, but from all social media? Disconnecting from social media isn't new to me. After all, I treat dating apps like road trips - fun for a while, but at some point, I get tired of driving and delete my profile (again). I've also taken breaks from Facebook ranging from weeks to months. However, I had an on-again/off-again relationship with Facebook before I used social media for community building, such as the events I lead in the LGBTQ+ group Elgin Pride. At this point in my lifetime, going off the grid has actual consequences. I can't post events, invite people to events, or contribute to this digital community without social media. Additionally, I've never tried taking a break from social media at large. Could I truly go off the grid, taking a social media sabbatical? The idea tantalized and terrified me. The fact that I was anxious about disconnecting further piqued my curiosity. Where was this anxiety coming from? How could I work through it? The only way to know was to try.
Hence, I disconnected from social media for three days - Thursday April 25th 2024 through Saturday April 27th 2024. Prior to disconnecting, I did a bit of prep work. Since I message certain friends solely through social media - namely, Discord - I let my friends know that I wouldn't be replying to messages. That way, they'd know I'm not ghosting them; I'm just ghosting social media. Second, I determined which websites and apps fall under the umbrella of my social media. Facebook was an obvious answer. Dating apps clearly had to go. Discord was difficult to ditch, since I'm most social on this particular social media network. After those three categories, was I free from social media? As Patrick Star would say:
Image Source: giphy.com
Plenty of other apps fall under social media, even if I don't use them to connect with others quite as directly. YouTube, for example, is a social media platform. I don't message people on YouTube like I message on Facebook, Discord, and dating apps. Hence, it's not the first network that comes to mind when I hear the phrase "social media." However, it's inarguably the social media platform that I spend the most time on. Although I don't connect through messaging, I still use YouTube to connect with others by sharing videos over text. Spotify was another social media app in this same vein. Although I'm not following any friends on Spotify, I still follow artists, send songs to friends, and check out playlists. In other words, it's still social media. After making my list and checking it twice, I went cold turkey with the following social media:
- Discord
- Dating Apps
- Spotify
- YouTube
Once my list was finished, I logged into Blogger, getting a head start on my blog post and writing about my prep work, only to facepalm. After all, unless my blog is set to private, Blogger could also be considered social media.
Image Source: giphy.com
Hence, I typed my post in a Word document. Typing in Word instead of Blogger felt bizarre, since I couldn't preview my post like I normally would. For this challenge, Microsoft Word was a necessary evil, leaving my revised list as follows:
- Discord
- Dating Apps
- Spotify
- YouTube
- Blogger
What happened next?
Although my social media sabbatical was a brief three days, I quickly realized that checking my social media was so normalized that I did it subconsciously. I caught myself opening the Discord app and YouTube app without even making a conscious decision to do so, only to make the active decision to stop myself and close the apps. I also ran into another issue besides the allure of the apps - the temptation of push notifications. Since I'm used to opening messages immediately, swiping them away felt like picking up a delicious strawberry only to put it back down. Not knowing the content of the message (but getting a sneak peek) was akin to not being able to taste these strawberries - which is to say, it was torturous. I also received a notification for a new match. Although I don't take dating apps very seriously, it was difficult to ignore my curiosity about the match by swiping away the notification. Worst of all, swiping away notifications still involved interacting with social media, which wasn't a true social media break. To truly disconnect, I'd need to step it up a notch.
Hence, I deleted the more tempting social media apps (Discord, YouTube, and dating apps.) Although I knew that I could simply sign out, I found myself wanting to sign back in when the app was still installed. Uninstalling the apps proved to be a better option for me, removing the choice to open either the app or the push notifications. I wasn't surprised that this strategy worked, since it's a strategy I already use with Facebook. I don't have the Facebook app or Messenger app on my phone, which forces me to check Facebook by logging in. Since I'm already well-versed in Facebook breaks, it wasn't as difficult for me to stay clear of Facebook. Staying clear of Discord was challenging, since it meant staying out of my digital queer community. Nonetheless, I noticed that I enjoyed my morning a little more on Day 2 and Day 3. Without any messages to open (aside from texting), I started my day blissfully alone. Alone carries connotations of loneliness, but I find comfort in a degree of solitude, company to only my own thoughts and my morning coffee. I felt calm on these mornings, at peace watching the birds on the balcony. Although I was social media free, I wasn't tech free, since I still took a photo with my phone. Without social media, I didn't post the photo on Facebook, meaning that the photo was more about capturing the moment rather than sharing the moment online (at least, until sharing this blog post).
Image Source: Personal Photo
On the opposite end of calm - namely, anxiety - I noticed a pattern of checking (or wanting to check) my phone. Three patterns stuck out to me:
- Checking in the morning right after waking up
- Checking during a meal (breakfast, lunch, and dinner)
- Checking during bathroom breaks
That last one is embarrassing, I'm not going to lie. Why do I crave entertainment for a bathroom break? Why is it more habitual to look at my screen instead of my meal? Although I don't think there's anything inherently bad about watching YouTube videos, I find myself splitting my attention between the entertainment and the task at hand. My anxiety of missing out on social media leads me to missing out on these tiny lovely moments - whether it's drinking a cup of coffee, eating scrambled eggs, or appreciating the morning doves. It also leads me to drawing out moments that needn't take nearly as long (looking at you, bathroom breaks!)
What's the Future of (My) Social Media?
Going forward, I'd like to be more mindful about social media timeliness. It's not a matter of if, but when I use social media. Going forward, I have a few ideas to try:
- Scheduling a Social Media Hour each day, such as 9pm-10pm, and leaving the other hours open for other activities.
- Social-media-free zones in physical spaces. Just like I'm not supposed to text when I'm staffing the reference desk at my library, stay social-media-free at the kitchen table.
- Pay attention to the times when social media gets on my mind without using social media.
To illustrate this last point, I'll tell a story. On Day 2, I was driving home from work, listening to my favorite radio station - WDCB Jazz. Sometimes, this station goes over the news - which in this case, included news about a particular Tweet from a particular politician. Even if I lived completely off the grid, we live in a society where Tweets are regarded as newsworthy. It's nearly impossible to truly disconnect from social media when it's so ingrained in our culture and so influential in our day-to-day lives. Personally, I'd much rather figure out how social media can enrich my life (such as queer community) without letting social media encroach on my life (such as morning routines).
I'd also be curious to try a social media sabbatical in different conditions. What would happen if I tried a social media sabbatical for a longer time period, such as two weeks? Would the experiment be different when classes aren't in session, leaving me way more free time to work with? If I end up trying another social media sabbatical, I'll consider posting it to Blogger - though of course, I've learned my lesson. As a social media network, Blogger would need to wait until I'm back in the social-media-office.
Would I recommend a social media sabbatical?
Definitely! Putting some distance between myself and social media gave me a fresh perspective on social media - not only its challenges (bringing out my compulsive tendencies), but also its benefits (building community, streaming anime, sharing songs, etc.). It also gave me a fresh perspective on how often I interact with social media without realizing it. During only three days, I couldn't open a song on SoundCloud that a friend had shared a link for (Primordial's song Traidisiúnta). I couldn't listen to a band on Spotify that another friend had mentioned. I knew I knew the band, but didn't know how I knew them. (The band was Bayside. After my sabbatical, I looked up the band on Spotify and realized I'd heard their song Duality ages ago!) I couldn't open promotional emails from social media apps (this bordered on interacting with social media, like how you haven't truly cut out an ex if you're still checking out their profile). I rescheduled an anime hangout since we hang out on Discord, relying on Discord (and Crunchyroll) to stream one of my new favorite anime Frieren. All of these experiences helped me better appreciate social media and better appreciate my time away from social media. I'll be more mindful of giving myself space from social media if it consumes me like a hungry mimic:
Image Source: tenor.com
I'll make sure my time on social media is time spent spreading happiness, encouragement, and heart emojis.
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